Twitter, I am madly, deeply, head over heels with you.
Please let’s just keep this our little secret.
Why? Well, first off, Facebook won’t be pleased. In the short time we’ve been an item, Facebook has come to believe it rules my personal and work life with total dominance, and wants me to pay attention to every little inane detail of the meaningless existence led by everyone Facebook ever suggested should be my friend.
And Facebook is so demanding, always suggesting this game or that app or some invitation or something I’m required to like or comment on. I really hated the way Facebook pestered me relentlessly to unlock something or answer a fake-psych question or worse, to go live on a farm—and I mean, get real, I am clearly more a city girl.
Facebook is so demanding. Twitter, you don’t really demand anything but 140 little characters.
Second reason, twitter, that we should keep this on the QT, is that most everyone I know doesn’t really understand you. Isn’t that classic? You have so much more to offer than my friends can even comprehend, but they think you’re just a flash in the pan of my life. You’re not all bells and whistles like my ex, Facebook, is—so they underestimate you.
At their peril!
And then there’s the problem with commitment, twitter. If I go public with my insane infatuation with you, well, I could be setting myself up for a fall. I’m still a little raw over the Facebook breakup, if you must know. It was just so public. And just so wrong, the way Facebook revealed all of our sweet little nothings without really asking permission. As if we’d never really meant something to each other.
Anyway, twitter, for now you are just right for me, you know, since it’s never smart to get too heavily invested in rebound relationships. You flatter me easily and often with my many followers—I get a little high every time you alert me to a new admirer. Flattery, twitter, will get you everywhere! Plus—and this is huge—you just get me, and accept me for who I say I am, without that inquisition I always got from Facebook: What are your interests? Where did you go to school? Are you in a relationship? Can I raid your friends’ contact info to cozy up to them, too?
And you’re witty, twitter, very clever much of the time, well-versed on so many subjects, so easy to be around, easy to follow too, always there for me, but you don’t get all deep on me or demand too much of me.
In fact, you really don’t demand anything but 140 little characters, at most, in my time, on my terms, not anyone else’s. And that is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Until we meet up again later tonight—